July 22 - July 28, 2008 - A Week of Sweat, Blood and Whatever was that Other Thing?

Starting where last week left off....

The Witch of Bijnor was no match to the Power of the Hand (or one-followed-by-ten-zeroes??) as it won(??) the trust(???) of the Nation(yeah, right). The Hammer and the Sickle have begun to rust, eh? But good enough to rule 'He who Speaketh, Leaveth.' As for the Lotus-Eaters... one followed by ten zeroes it is. Elsewhere, (you know where...) the Buffalo Soldier went from free pizzas/burgers to ratatouille, sauer-kraut(!?) and tea(:P), and added to the woes of the White Elephant (with the primary contributor (of woes) being the effervescent Bush-man), charming all in the land of the royal good-for-nothings (oops!!).(Can he charm it (and still manage to digest it all)? Yes He Can). The countdown to the Games of the Amateurs (and not monks (nor Turban-men 1)) continued, with organisers arranging 'protest zone's (not for you if you're even remotely Mongoloid...), all while world leaders refused to boycott (you bet, who'd miss a hot dim sum for Foreign Policy??). And the six-spin freak along with chucky (oops again!!) mauled the 'boys' in blue, if it means anyhing to you. Closer home (this time, its 9-10 bus stops from my home..), it rained nuts, bolts, microprocessor pieces, quartz(?!), and the occasional human limb(?!?!) as some newly formed group (yeah, we know its not from Mushy-land...) of idiots (censorship heavily in action...) thought it'd be funny to blow up bus stops, restaurants (almost..), play-grounds.. blah blah(+blah blah blah,to be precise), along with some people too, so that they'd get to see friends go home early..but we're laughing hysterically,aren't we?(gosh fuuuuunny, my tummy hurts... stop it already...) Closely following were more serious pranks in the land of the Hatrick Hero (V for Saffron!!) with as many as 17 (remember this one... had to use my toes as well (to count..)) kabooms, including in hospitals(!!(surprise...)) those *******....ad infinitum(censorship at its limits...). As a (now) ageing rocker once said, 'Go get a shave, son(s)'. The world was shocked to know this- (not what you just read) IVF can be worth $15 million!!!(atleast to start with...) The people of the world also ruled that barrels ought to banned from silverscreens, (a personal endorsement here), as should uncannily familiar climaxes (especially ones that poke at the Gr8 ribs (still perspiring, I hear..)). All in all, a week filled with , sweat (for some), blood (for many) and, well, free thought beckons thee, reader, what, o what was that Other Thing? until next time...

ps: remembered at last... it was one followed by ten zeroes....

July 15 - July 21 - AThe Week of the Great Countdown(s)(and also several Flip-Flops)

After last week, I'm confused if Black's still Black and White's still White...(nothing significant about the capital B and W, if that's what you're thinking...). In the Bush-lands, the Buffalo Soldier and the White Elephant flip-flopped this way and that about 'issues' ranging from campaign financing (not to be confused with the Housewife Debt Relief Fund..) to offshore drilling (again, not to be confused with deep sea diving..kidding..). And finally, the Buffalo Soldier took a step towards trigger-happiness, with a long haul hike (yeah..hike..) to Turban-Land 1, 2 (in that order, and possibly 3?) to enjoy a free pizza or two (or was it a burger?) with the Men-in-Watchamacallit-Coloured-Uniforms-who-recently-became-the-least-holidaying-lot as also to verify the Bush-man's claims (the latter being the official reason(yeah, right!!)). (Can he fire it (on a hike??)? Yes He Can). Meanwhile, the venerable female Buffalo Soldiers of Africa
joined the list of those suffering from the results of attempts to reduce perspiration (engineered largely by the Bush-men) (refer to prev. post for the list...), even as the Gr8s applied themselves to suffer from short term memory loss (the last 14 days' memories, to be precise..). The much protested games of the amateurs (and not monks??how???) too figured in the to-be-counted-down-to list. Closer home, (hear a clock ticking?) the honourable MPs put Stanford's illustrious computation techniques to shame, with the N-deal giving way to the previous letter (M, if you didn't get it...). The Witch (well, at least at some point) of Bijnor called all the aces (and also hand pumps and lady farmers carrying paddy on their heads) in an effort to - well you know why...
D-day today, but wait for next week for the verdict.. (kaleda vaara, remember...) . The Dark Knight swept the world, and the Late Joker left a lasting impression on everyone (not sure about a certain extremely vicious Sid someone..). If you found it difficult to read this post (white letters on black background?), my apologies, but please read (even with your difficulties) the first sentence, 'cause that was what last week was all about.. a Week of several flip-flops and several other (far greater) countdowns... until next time...

July 8 - July 14, 2008 - A Week of (mostly) False Starts (and Promises) but Real Perspiration

At last, the world (mostly along and west-of the Prime Meridian, of course) broke out of that charming Buffalo Soldier's spell (hurray!! sorry... my deepest condolences to any sufferers in the erstwhile Kingdom of Rhodesia). Perspiration was the name of the gam(bl)e for several Gr8 'world' leaders (including the New-Matryoshka-On-The-Bloc(k?), who, we hear, was a little too smart for the Bush-man), as they sat around, across, behind (fill in as many prepositions as you can recollect, they did it all..) several (not necessarly round) tables under the fabled (yet conspicuously absent) cherry blossoms and doled out promises aplenty. For here at last the Bush-man decided it safe to say he'd stop smoking by 2050 (atleast he won't be the Bush-man he is by then), though he still failed to impress Nobel winning watchdogs or blood-thirsty Congressmen or even, for that matter, corn deprived cattle. Adding to his woes was Oliver Stone's camera-shy (erstwhile) muse, who found it quite amusing to celebrate bonfire night (or Diwali or any such festivity...) early. Back home (the Bush-lands..) the Buffalo Soldier (the other one) decided it was time to speak out against- well, against anyone who the public love to see trashed, really- so populating the list were omnipresent (yeah,) turban-ed men, Uncle Sam's foreign policies, Reverend Whathisnames- you get the point..(in case you don't, can he trash it? Yes He Can..) All this while the White Elephant found himself back in the keep-distance-from books of the Grand Hollywood Widow(the GRAND old one..). The other turbaned man (the one closer home..) realised it was time to go back to Julie Andrews' old musicals as D-Day loomed large. The Pehelwan's presence only resulted in the unholy alliance of the Left and the Right to knock off the Centre, even as the venerable Speaker (who, a la Basanti, well, you know what I mean..) made it clear that he felt Left behind in all this drama. Princely ducklings came under fire for early celebrations, the 'Terrorist' reminded the English of the pangs of 7/11 (kidding..), former Swedish Stock market wonders hit cold silver screens, while Knights waited in the shadows... a week, in short of (mostly) false starts and wild promises.

ps: they're here at last, July 14 not just Bastille Day and our (mine and my twin sister's...) birthday henceforth...

pps: a smelly digital library inspires only this much, promise you better posts... until next time....

July 2 - July 7, 2008 - A (mostly) Bloody Week (of Anticipation)

This week actually needs just two types of sounds and one colour to describe- KABOOM, (translate to language of choice) AAAAH, and Red respectively. But since I'm not such a great fan of Ezra Pound, here's how it went...

Along and West of the Prime Meridian, the world remained (mostly, if you want it) enchanted by the unadulterated brutality of the Buffalo Soldier - everyone who was/is/will be someone reminded us what they meant by free (not THAT), fair (definitely not THAT) and many other words starting with f...(if you're thinking on those lines, that's what they meant the erstwhile Kingdom of Rhodesia WAS...) The Buffalo Soldier, by the way, went on with his normal daily routine (with his spokesman asking the above mentioned parties to "go hang"(seconded)).. The other Buffalo Soldier got another loser onto his bandwagon (the saucemaker's husband)(can he lick it? Yes He Can), even as the White Elephant holidayed the 4th of July away at home(uh?)... enough with Buffaloes and Soldiers... Several people thought it funny (in varying degrees) to blow up several other people (also in varying degrees), in places ranging from the UK, US (uh?) to Iraq (currently BANKing on US support..),Lebanon, Turkey, Afghanistan, Kashmir(yaaawn)... A ray of hope amidst all this was that a highly skilled troupe of Colombian actors hoodwinked local FARCists, robbing (??)them of more than six years of hard work(no kidding..), but how much does a ticket to such a brilliant show cost, me wonders.. Markets tumbled world over, as did famous German heads (wanna bet?), oil showed no signs of mercy (the only signs I saw read 'empty').. The Gr8s of the World perspired along with the planet, with D-Day fast approaching.. The World's most benevolent money lenders joined cattle in pointing at efforts to stop perspiring as culprits of the Great Rise (yes, the one that saw the Bush-man envy me..)Spanish matadors took away all the Strawberries and Cream (atleast the bulls are happier :)), and 6 spin wonder-freaks ruled all of Asia.. Coming home, horse-trading ruled the Political Roost, Left, Right and Centre (uPA or unPA??)Even closer home (half a dozen bus stops away, infact) the Lotus added a few more petals, while fertilisers (their scarcity, to be precise) dominated the field of vision of the parties concerned (REALLY concerned..) Uncles proved more useful than Fathers on Friday, France's First Twins came closer to being (and no, Sarky's not expecting..), 'Material' matrimonies trembled- what can I say, a Red-Paragraph-Week, eh?

Ps: Feel free to vote as many times as you want in this week's poll... Until next time...

June 25 - July 1, 2008 - The Week of the Buffalo Soldier

This week clearly belonged to the Buffalo Soldier. Bespectacled and severely sunburned Buffalo Soldiers (Knights no longer...) put up a vehement battle to preserve their hard fought freedom, under threat from democratic (slash imperialist) fellow buffalo soldiers (also severely sunburned), who in turn gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "Going Dutch". Then the world witnessed Democracy in action, and a record number of Buffalo Soldiers stained their left-hand index fingers, though not with (customary) blood. Brother Mbeki showed us what a good neighbor does, Brothers at round tables seconded him. All this while white Bush-men and John Bulls strained their vocal chords, singing requeims to their cherished dreams. Elsewhere (120 deg West, to be precise), old foes (eh?) united (publicly) to fight the common Enemy (uh?). The Gentleman Buffalo Soldier even offered 4.6 Grand to the Housewife Debt Relief Fund (formerly HRC Prez campaign). In the line of fire from the White Elephant, the Black Donkey defended his patriotism and gun-handling capabilities (can he fire it? YES HE CAN). Khazakh clothes-hangers tried to do a superman and failed miserably (its always the green K). Coming back East... amidst the famous Alps, the Spanish (some Catalan too...) Matadors showed Europe that the extinction of bulls will not leave them unemployed... even as the seeds fell on the (bloody) 8mm greens like nine-pins (more like 20-odd pins) right under the royal nose(s)...Closer home, The Leftists tired themselves playing peek-a-boo with puppets, and finally showed what they're really good at (and that left the puppet with a sore leg- trip, thud ouch!!). Greyhounds went to the Pounds, Nazi colonels played Super Prank(s), dancing queens tried to think (and almost killed themselves, 'losers lurgy', eh?), ageing superstars continued to defy public sanity (as did doting uncles and fathers).... the scribes sure had a hectic week (what with SC cases and all that!!) But the icing of the cake goes to the Buffalo Soldier (the one referred to at the very beginning)- who became a natural ambassador for Fevicol. Until next time......